he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
