not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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