yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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