stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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