i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
