highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize