Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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