I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
