am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
