I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
