You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
