Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
