i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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