im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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