My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
