He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
