After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
