She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize