goodnight i made you a song goodbye
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
