marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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