she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
