Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
