Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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