Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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