Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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