I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize