Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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