I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
