The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
