Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
