he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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