Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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