i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
