I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
