can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I don't think brook has ever known best
I need to stop coming to work sober
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
