Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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