i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Of course I have a pirate flag
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
