You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I touched a dick in church today
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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