He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
