i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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