awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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