What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
