lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
