I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
