shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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