Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
