yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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