I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
