i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize