Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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