no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
