Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
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