so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
