Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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