we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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