So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize