"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
