If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
