I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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