"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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