Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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