i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
