I feel like abortions should bother me more
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
