Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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