Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
