So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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