Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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