the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
