Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
