I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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