don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize