dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize